Punchline Headlines

Syndicate content
Comedy, Comedians, Comedy Videos
Updated: 4 hours 1 min ago

Alex Jones on Joe Rogan podcast: “I’m kind of retarded.”

Thu, 02/28/2019 - 11:13

Joe Rogan invited Alex Jones back onto his podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience, for the 1255th episode—and it got weird. The nearly five-hour podcast live streamed on YouTube and currently has over 1 million views. Clips of the podcast appeared all over social media in real time and people are raising their eyes at the content.

The InfoWars host returned to the podcast after his first appearance back in February of 2017. “We decided to do another podcast. We cleared the air on the phone and decided to clear it more on a podcast,” Rogan stated at the top of the show.

He told Jones on the podcast, “I told you a long time ago that I would have you back on and, in the interest of being completely honest, I was hesitant to do it. Not because I didn’t want to talk to you, but just because the amount of bullshit that I get from people who get angry that you and I are friends.” He continued, “You and I have always had a good time together…our only problems are when you are talking about me or if I am talking about you, not about when we are talking to each other. It’s the distance that has been the problem.”

Alex Jones finally admits Sandy Hook was real

The episode started with the two discussing Jones’s very controversial take on the school shooting at Sandy Hook and other mass shootings. Jones tried to distance himself from the perception that he was “the Sandy Hook guy,” even though he is currently being sued by the victims’ families. He even said to Rogan he now believes that “Sandy Hook was real.”

After talking about how conspiracies and schizophrenia are linked, Jones distanced himself from his conspiracy theorist reputation. “I have my own mild psychosis,” said the conservative talk show host. Jones credits his distancing himself from other theorists by being on the receiving end of theories, including claims that people think he’s Bill Hicks in disguise. He later called himself “kind of retarded.” A clip of this made it to Twitter and was quickly spread and reposted numerous times.

the soundbite to last generations

Alex Jones: “look here’s the thing, I’m gonna be honest with you, I’m kind of retarded” pic.twitter.com/VLHVB9jII3

— Rod Breslau (@Slasher) February 27, 2019

Joe Rogan Experience episode pushes bizarre conspiracy theories

While Jones originally walked back on his identity as a conspiracy theorist, later in the podcast, he brought up some wild theories of his own. Jones, who is banned from Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and other platforms, told Rogan all about how the USA government secretly runs Mexico as a lab.

This just got pretty racist: Alex Jones is on the Joe Rogan show and just casually claimed (Rogan just enjoying himself) that the government runs Mexico like a lab because Native Americans “genetically” go into groupthink pretty fast and therefore are easier to “mind control” pic.twitter.com/e0W5rkUlel

— cristina lópez g. (@crislopezg) February 27, 2019

It is not only what Jones said that came off as unhinged. It is also the way he said it at times. He becomes emotional in several parts of the stream and almost cried over children he had in a distant past life starving to death. (We told you it got weird.)

Alex Jones getting emotional about his kids starving to death in a past life pic.twitter.com/ojxi8htXgB

— Mark Readings (@MarkReadings) February 28, 2019

In another clip, he starts screaming at Eddie Bravo about late-term abortions and won’t let Bravo tell him that his take is just another conspiracy theory. Live viewers clipped out these bizarre moments and quickly posted on social media. Both Alex Jones and Joe Rogan trended on Twitter for hours.

IM CRYINGGGG LMFAOOOOOOOO!!!!BRO THIS IS THE BEST JOE ROGAN PODCAST YET! ALEX JONES IS HILARIOUS!!! pic.twitter.com/ovuafsrJEc

— ||

Final Brody Stevens podcast will ‘push positivity’ in live stream today

Wed, 02/27/2019 - 14:40

All Things Comedy is streaming one last episode of the highly celebrated Brody Stevens Podcast Festival of Friendship following the comedian’s passing last week. The broadcast will feature a special rotating panel of comedy friends sharing stories.

Previous guests on Festival Of Friendship include Duncan Trussell, Jeffrey Baldinger, and sports legend Alan Jaeger. The podcast was famous for Brody Stevens candidly discussing depression but also baseball, apple cider vinegar and everything in between.

One of the best things about comedy is its ability to celebrate life, stress, friendship, and unity through shared passions and discussions. Stevens and his Festival Of Friendship were a shining example of this. It is a podcast that celebrated the good, the bad, and the ugly in life through Stevens’s unique comedic lens. Each episode was a journey in and of itself shared with Stevens and his guests. With his death, the podcast ends but the final episode will stream live today.

Stevens was a beloved figure of the LA comedy scene. Court McCown and Eric Oligny will be among the guest list. In his tweet, Oligny pledged that Stevens’ closest friends would be there “pushing positivity” in true Brody Stevens style. He also promised one last round of the popular Baseball card game that was a staple of Festival of Friendship.

Tune in between 2:00-4:00 p.m. PST today to the All Things Comedy Facebook Page to witness the last bit of magic for yourself.

We are celebrating the great Brody Stevens life with the final ‘Festival of Friendship’ live on the ATC Facebook page Wednesday 2pm (PT) @allthingscomedy with all of his closest pals pushing positivity & yes there will be a final Baseball Catd Game. pic.twitter.com/H43UfofXIE

— Eric Oligny (@EricOligny) February 25, 2019

 

The post Final Brody Stevens podcast will ‘push positivity’ in live stream today appeared first on LaughSpin.

Daniel Sloss: People that get offended by jokes don’t have any friends

Wed, 02/27/2019 - 13:18

Daniel Sloss looks like the water boy at a tiki torch rally. You’d never pit the Scottish comedian for a male ally in the war against toxic masculinity just by looking at him, but he’s made it the focus of his new show, Daniel Sloss: X. Sloss, who has made waves in the States with his two-part debut Netflix special Live Shows, frequently admits that his opinions are works in progress and that he combats his ignorance through the novel act of ‘reading.’ One of these researched opinions is that people who were bullied a lot growing up were improperly trained to negatively react to jokes. Through friendship, the Roast Battle champ learned how to take a joke from people who love him.

Laughspin’s Billy Procida sat down with Sloss for an episode of The Manwhore Podcast shortly before running his new show—now touring worldwide—at the SoHo Playhouse in New York City. The two discussed today’s popular roast battle culture and why scientists were tickling lab rats. In the full episode—available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and other major podcast apps—the two comedians went on to discuss toxic masculinity, liberalism, and how he still believes in true love.

If you get the opportunity to see Daniel Sloss: X live, I cannot recommend it enough. X will unfairly be called ‘the male Nanette.’ But X is much more than that. It’s a man celebrating manhood while also demanding that men do better. It is absolutely brilliant and hysterical and could be the comedy special everyone is talking about when it inevitably hits streaming platforms.

The following has been edited for content and clarity. To hear the rest of the conversation, listen to Ep. 255 of The Manwhore Podcast at the 28:55 mark.

I forgot if it was Dark or Jigsaw where you talked about having supportive parents and I thought, “How dare he?”

Yea, my parents are disgustingly fucking supportive.

You started crazy young, no?

Me and my dad will argue whether it’s 16 or 17. I’ll say 17; he’ll say 16. I did do a gig when I was 16, but I don’t count it as a gig because it was 11 or 12 people and it was part of a comedy course thing. I don’t agree that that was a comedy show. Whereas the first one I did when I was 17 was at The Stand comedy club in Edinburgh, which is a real comedy club, so that’s where my heart lies. And at this point, I think regardless of if I started at 16 or 17, that my career has been fairly fucking impressive. It no longer matters which age I started at.

Yeah. I saw your show Daniel Sloss: X with a comedy buddy. We heard ’17’ and thought, “This motherfucker.” Do you get a little bit of that from fellow comedians when they find out?

I did a lot when I was younger. It was that kind of jealousy I find you get amongst comedians a lot of the time. It’s my favorite type of jealousy—I do it all the time. If somebody ever comes up with a joke that I think is genius, I’ll go, “Oh, fuck you for coming up with that!” There was a lot of that friendly sort of banter from older comics. “Fuck you for starting so young. I wish I had.”

It’s a way of saying, “You’re incredible for how young you are.”

It was always complimentary. And look: I enjoy ribbing, man. I love fucking making fun of people and being made fun of. I love that sort of shit. So I never took any of the insults fucking personally.

So you must dig the roast battle culture that’s been growing over the years?

I am the only undefeated roaster from the UK TV series. There’s only been three seasons now. In the first season, I beat Desirée Burch. In this last season, I beat Phil Wang. Undefeated. It’s the one fucking thing where I went to my agent and said, “Get me on that fucking show.”

I’m not good at panel shows because I enjoy watching panel shows so I just laugh when I’m there. I’m not political. I’m not a voice on politics, so I don’t respect my own opinion on politics. So I wouldn’t offer it out there for people to hear. I think it’s unnecessary information for people to have if they knew my political affiliations seeing as they’re grounded in almost nothing. So, panel shows I’m just not that good on. And these other shows that you get in the UK where they want you to come on and be a personality. I’m not good at those. I’m a comedian. I don’t want to be known for, “Let’s hear his thoughts on anything.” No. I’m a fucking comedian.

Whereas with Roast Battle, that is me to a fucking T. I’m a big fan of horrific insults, really trying your hardest to upset your friends with jokes is absolutely what I was put on this planet to do.

Here is one of my many, many shit opinions that aren’t grounded in any evidence, but it’s an opinion-in-progress sort of thing. People that get offended by jokes don’t have any friends. I believe that if you get offended by comedy, it’s because you didn’t have friends growing up. Which is sad, and I understand that, but part of comraderie—especially male comraderie—is just insults all the fucking time. And that does come from toxic masculinity, but for me, I don’t think it’s a dangerous form of toxic masculinity. If everyone knows it’s a joke, if everyone knows it’s done as banter—and we do. Men aren’t as fucking dumb as we claim they are. You can see when somebody takes a joke badly as a man. “Oh, you took that a little bit personally.” Me and my friends, we know we have some friends more sensitive than other friends. So we’ll take the fucking pedal off because they can’t give as good as they get it sort of thing.

I love verbally abusing in text all my fucking friends. It keeps you grounded and it’s a great practice for joke writing as well. I just think, if you didn’t have any friends growing up, you didn’t get insulted. You never understood that insults didn’t have to be personal and cruel. They could be personal and cruel, but the intent to hurt wasn’t behind it. People who have no friends, whenever they hear an insult, they’ve only heard it from bullies. So they always associate insults as bullying as opposed to, where I was raised with my family, insults are compliments. Insults are funny little things to sort of, not necessarily keep you in line, but everyone’s fair game.

Like in my family, I would never shout at my mom or I would never shout at my dad because they’re my parents. But the one bit that was allowed to transcend age was jokes and making fun of each other. As I said: it’s an opinion in progress.

And bullying does exist. And that’s the fucking problem with it. The thing I’ve always said—not something I’ve always said, it’s a scientific study I first heard on Shane Mauss’s podcast (which is great if you ever get a chance to listen to it)—and it’s where laughter comes from. The lowest form of animal that can laugh is the English. But after that, it’s rats.

Basically, scientists worked out that if you scratch a rat on its belly, it lets out this sort of shrieking noise. It’s the rat laughing. The reason it’s laughing is because, normally, if a rat was on its back and something were to attack its belly, that’s the most dangerous position a rat can be in. Right? That’s a fucking eagle; that’s a dog; that’s a cat that’s about to fucking kill it. Whereas tickling a rat on the belly is a safe violation of the thing. Normally this thing is a horrific death thing, but this is such a minor version of that thing that it’s funny. And that, to me, is what most comedy is. It’s a safe version of the horrible thing.

People always say to you, “Do you find the Holocaust funny?” You go, “No. I absolutely don’t find it funny. But I find jokes about the Holocaust funny.” Those are jokes about the Holocaust. There’s such a difference between me laughing at the thing and me laughing at jokes about the thing.

My favorite quote from Jim Jefferies is, “There’s a difference between things that I think and things that I think are funny to say.”

Exactly that. I say things that I absolutely do not mean. And the reason I say them is because wouldn’t it be funny if I held this opinion? That’s it! It’s a safe violation. People who deny the Holocaust happening are the worst people in the world. I find it an abhorrent, horrific opinion to have. Anyone who holds that opinion truly needs to be punished—well, let’s not get into how I think they should be dealt with. That’s not necessary. But I think it’s a horrific opinion to have. That being said, if somebody’s playing a fucking character—they’re playing an idiot, that’s a horrible opinion to hold, so I’m going to pretend to hold it for the sake of this joke. That’s a safe violation of the horrible thing.

So with bullying, as I understand, when I say ‘no friends,’ I didn’t mean for that to be, “Oh, you’ve got no friends!” I just mean in the sense if you don’t have friends who fucking pick on you, if you don’t have friends to teach you that—the way I found out all my flaws was from my friends making fun of them. And it wasn’t cruel. My friends would go big nose, big lips, stupid voice—whatever. Then when people started to actually insult me for them, I was like, “Oh, I don’t give a shit.” I’ve heard them from friends. Nothing you can say can actually hurt me.

It’s like that Tyrion line on Game of Thrones: If you know what your weaknesses are, no one can hurt you. I think your friends teach you to do that. That’s why I think sometimes I’ve had this argument with my girlfriend on several occasions: the reason [she’s] more sensitive is because [she] was raised around girls and girls are nicer to each other. They can be bitchy, but girls are nicer. Again, all opinions in sort of progress, but I just think camaraderie and stuff sort of teach you to not take jokes as seriously. My friends have said horrible things to me, truly horrible disgusting things about my sister. And I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I thought they meant that. Because there’s no part of me that thinks, “Oh, you meant those words that came out of your mouth.” That’s what blows my mind about people who go to comedy shows. They just sit there and think, “He means every single word he’s saying. I’ve come to see a comedian tell jokes. He must mean every word.”

There’s a point in my show where I say I’m talking to a female friend of mine and I say, “Why don’t you speak when spoken to? How about that?” Because that’s a horrific opinion to have and I don’t hold it. So isn’t it funny if, for a brief moment, I pretend to be the asshole that has that opinion? That’s the joke to me.

That’s when we get into the problem of when does my responsibility end to explain that to my audience. I love Jim Jefferies. I think Jim Jefferies is one of the best comedians. I think Jim Jefferies is a highly fucking intelligent comedian. His gun control routine is second to none. Over the years, the way Jim Jefferies is able to dissect an argument and defeat it at every single step of the way while still keeping you laughing is something I think a lot of comics should aspire to—I think he’s a genius. Having said that, I do think some of his fans are idiots. And they’ll hear him occasionally make a joke where he’s making fun of women and they just take it at face value. “Jim Jefferies hates women.” He doesn’t. I know Jim. He absolutely does not. But that’s what they take it as. It’s always a difficult thing of how much do I have to fucking explain to my audience which bits are jokes and which aren’t.

Are there any comedians that broke your heart when you found out that that benefit of the doubt may not be deserved?

[Louis] C.K. broke my heart, man. I enjoyed his stand-up for years. I really, really did. What he did—I’m also not a big fan of the way he dealt with things. That broke my heart. But, then again, how much is on—oh, no. It is on him. I was about to say, “How much of that is on him?” It is on him. Using C.K. for my next point is a bad example, is all I mean.

I like how your opinion is in progress even just in this moment.

Yeah, man. That’s the thing. That’s why I don’t like commenting on a lot—people always ask me for these opinions. I’m like, “I don’t know yet.” It takes me a while to arrive at a fucking conclusive opinion. I really do like to consider all sides and hear it from different fucking people before I fully cement where I am.

Very unAmerican of you.

People don’t want that anymore. They want a bite-size clip of your opinion. Nothing’s black and white. Everything is fucking grey, man. Everything is so complex and you have to, like, really think things through. If I’m going to firmly stick my flag in the ground somewhere, I’ve got to know who my fucking teammates are. I’ve got to be able to defend my point at all times—because I don’t like losing arguments, man. I don’t. I want to make sure I’m always right. Up until now, I’ve always been right.

The post Daniel Sloss: People that get offended by jokes don’t have any friends appeared first on LaughSpin.

10 “Weird Al” Yankovic songs that are secretly dark af

Wed, 02/27/2019 - 12:07
”Weird Al” Yankovic is the best-selling comedy recording artist of all time. His 2014 album Mandatory Fun was the first comedy album to debut #1 on the Billboard Top 200 chart. His music is loved across the globe and spans across generations young and old. While Weird Al’s music is family-friendly (there’s no swearing, foul language or graphic sexuality), the songs can get a little…weird. If you dig deep enough into the Weird Al archives, some of the songs are super dark. Laughspin brings you the darkest Weird Al songs ever made. For the purpose of this list, I’ve only considered songs off of Yankovic’s 14 studio albums. To weigh the darkness, I’ve considered both subject matter and how many people died. An interesting side-note: All of these songs happen to be originals by Yankovic, not parodies. I guess that’s what happens when this accordion-wielding comedian is left to his own devices! 10. Weasel Stomping Day – Straight Outta Lynwood (2006)

This lovely, cheerful song is about the ritual murder of an entire species. The song takes us to a town with a beloved holiday tradition of crushing weasels to death. As the song goes, “It’s tradition; that makes it okay.”

If thoughts of weasel skull-crushing, spine-snapping, and gut-squirting leave you queasy, lyrics like, “All the little girls and boys love that wonderful crunching noise,” will certainly leave you concerned for the well-being of this town’s youth!

Lyrics aside, the truly darkest parts of the song are the sound effects. The middle of the song features a 20-second lyricless interlude of crushing and squealing noises. The DVD that accompanied the initial album release revealed that these noises were, in part, recorded by Weird Al’s young daughter. For additional delightful darkness, watch the music video animated by Robot Chicken.

9. You Don’t Love Me Anymore – Off the Deep End (1992)

This anti-love song recounts a series of events proving our narrator’s partner is no longer in love with him. The song starts relatively tame. The lover “made it with the whole hockey team,” and told “all [her] friends that I’m the Antichrist.” That’s not so bad compared to having your brakes disconnected, your bathtub filled with piranhas, your coffee poisoned, or your house burned down.

The most graphic line comes at, “You slammed my face down on a barbecue grill.” While that’s quite a horrific picture, the crescendo of the song’s darkness comes from the lyric, “You drilled a hole in my head. Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead.” It appears as the relationship declined, so did the scorned lover’s creativity in her many murderous plots.

By the end, our lovesick hero is still—somehow—alive. Disfigured and thoroughly abused, but alive. That’s why this song lands at #9.

8. Christmas at Ground Zero – Polka Party! (1986)

Christmas at Ground Zero is one of the most unapologetically dark Weird Al titles in his catalog. It’s hard to miss when the title quite accurately sums up the premise of the song. A holiday staple in many depraved homes, this song observes typical Christmas traditions maintained amid a nuclear attack. Despite mentioning atom bombs, the end of humanity, and the expected mutations from nuclear fallout, there are no explicit deaths in Christmas at Ground Zero. If there were, this song would rank a lot higher.

Released in 1986, the song’s juxtaposition is written for the sake of humor. Hearing it in 2019, it comes off as a creepy reflection of complacency in the face of terror. Weird Al fans began sharing this song again in December 2016 when then President-elect Donald Trump discussed nuclear weapons on Twitter.

The United States must greatly strengthen and expand its nuclear capability until such time as the world comes to its senses regarding nukes

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 22, 2016

7. The Night Santa Went Crazy – Bad Hair Day (1996)

By now, it’s safe to assume that a ‘traditional’ Weird Al Christmas song is anything but wholesome. The Night Santa Went Crazy recounts, “the night Saint Nick went insane” after he “realized he’d been gettin’ a raw deal.” Santa goes on to bomb the toy workshop, take elves hostage, and grind up “poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage.”

While there are no confirmed human deaths in the song, there is immense emotional trauma. As dark as the album version gets, it gets, well… even worse. The super dark Christmas song first appeared on Weird Al’s 1996 album Bad Hair Day. However, an “extra gory” version of the song first shows up on his Amish Paradise single. Instead of Santa going to prison for 700 years, he gets shot in the head. As if it could get any darker, it even includes the line, “Yes little friend, now that’s his brains on the floor.” Since the extra gory version wasn’t the official release, The Night Santa Went Crazy only lands at #7 on this list.

6. Good Old Days – Even Worse (1988)

In classic Weird Al fashion, Good Old Days takes a happy melody and expertly adds deeply chilling lyrics. While reminiscing about the ‘good old days,’ the song’s protagonist describes “torturing rats” and “pulling the wings off of flies” in his sad, lonely basement. Okay, weird. But boys will be boys, right? The next verse describes burning down the neighborhood grocery store and the look on the kindly shop owner’s face when he “bashed in his head.”

Already, Goold Old Days belongs on this list. However, the song gets more twisted the longer you listen. The last story he recounts is of his high school sweetheart and what transpired after the homecoming dance. “I tied her to a chair and I shaved off all her hair.” Then he abandoned her in the middle of the desert—how romantic. He concludes by saying, “Sometimes in my dreams, I can still hear the screams. Oh, I wonder if she ever made it home?” While there is no confirmation of murder, it’s certainly implied.

5. I Remember Larry – Bad Hair Day (1996)

I Remember Larry is deeply, deeply dark. What makes it so great is the murkiness isn’t revealed until nearly halfway through the song. It starts as a recollection of pranks that “Larry” has pulled on the song’s narrator. The pranks start off tame like phony phone calls and wedgies. Eventually, the deceits escalate to a level that includes actual toxic waste. While odd and certainly criminal in nature, nothing Larry pulled was quite dark enough to land on this list.

The song proves how twisted it is when the narrator “pranked” Larry back. He recounts breaking into Larry’s house, dragging him into the woods, and stuffing him in a plastic bag. Don’t worry: Larry would have loved the prank. At least that’s what we’re told.

4. Melanie – Even Worse (1988)

Melanie is the first song that comes to mind when considering a true PG-13 Weird Al song, but still pretty messed up—especially in a #MeToo world. Melanie is the singer’s dream girl, a woman he’s been lusting after ever since he used his telescope to watch her shower. While this may be Weird Al’s first song about a guy stalking and creeping on a woman, it wasn’t his last.

In 2006’s Straight Outta Lynwood, Weird Al parodied Taylor Hicks’s Do I Make You Proud with Do I Creep You Out. In it, he describes saving a woman’s gum, feeling the “warm spot on (her) chair,” wanting to put her fingers in his mouth, and feeling the need to carve her name into his leg. While definitely odd, it’s not as depraved as Melanie.

The main character, rejected by Melanie after tattooing her name on his forehead, jumps out of the window a story above her apartment, committing suicide right in front of her. He says, “Now I may be dead, but I still love you,” which is a haunting end to a low key delightful song.

3. Albuquerque – Running with Scissors (1999)

Clocking in at over 11 minutes, Albuquerque is Weird Al’s longest song. It’s also one of his darkest.

Albuquerque starts off with a clear case of child abuse. The narrator’s mother ties him to a wall and force-feeds him nothing but sauerkraut until he’s 26-years-old. All because he asked his mother, “What’s up with all the sauerkraut?” The lowest point comes after a terrible plane ride to Albuquerque ends with a crash that kills everyone on board—except for the narrator. Oh, and the plane ran out of peanuts before the crash. Tragedy.

Time for some math! Because there is mention of an in-flight movie, and the fact that there is a middle seat, we have to assume this was a large aircraft. The largest passenger aircraft that regularly lands at Albuquerque International Sunport is the Boeing 737-900 which has a seating capacity of 189 and would be staffed by at least two pilots. We can only truly confirm the deaths of the people who are mentioned as being on the plane (as well as the implied two pilots): two large Albanian women, the flight attendant, and the kid behind the narrator. With all of this in mind, the total death toll in Albuquerque is somewhere between six and 188.

2. Why Does This Always Happen to Me? – Poodle Hat (2003)

Easily one of the catchiest Weird Al songs, Why Does This Always Happen to Me? is undoubtedly one of the Grammy winner’s darkest tunes.

The song starts with a horrific earthquake that crushes 30,000 people. This leaves our narrator understandably upset because, of course, the news of this incident interrupted an episode of The Simpsons.

He also tells us about how he stabbed his boss in the face after being politely asked to replace the printer toner. We also learn about a road trip where he witnessed a deadly 12-car pile-up. Amid the “brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere,” he notices his “friend Robert’s disembodied head.” At first, he’s sad at his friend’s passing but later resolves that the friend was a jerk because he hadn’t yet returned a borrowed five bucks. Dark.

1. One of Those Days – Polka Party! (1986)

I hadn’t initially considered One of Those Days as being the gloomiest song in Weird Al’s repertoire. Upon closer review, I realized it is the darkest thing the @midnight regular has ever released.

The song revolves around Weird Al’s genius juxtaposition of the inane and the insane while describing “cliché” bad days. Everything that could go wrong seems to go wrong for this guy. He’s late to work. He leaves his Beatles records out in the sun. Yankovic’s heightening leaves him tied up by Nazis and his mother run over by a steamroller. Things turn apocalyptic when “the bomb” gets dropped, resulting in the world blowing up “and now everybody’s dead.” The song literally states that everyone on earth dies.

In 1986, when this song was released, the world population was just under 5 billion people (4,953,376,710 to be exact, according to geohive.com). 4,953,376,710 die in a Weird Al song. What a miserable way to die. And that’s why One of Those Days is number one on our list!

The post 10 “Weird Al” Yankovic songs that are secretly dark af appeared first on LaughSpin.

Amy Schumer hates people with happy pregnancies in Netflix trailer

Tue, 02/26/2019 - 15:29

The trailer for Amy Schumer’s second Netflix special, Growing, is out and it’s clear Schumer continues to keep it real during her pregnancy. Amy Schumer: Growing debuts on March 19 and will show Schumer talking about the trials of pregnancy, being a bridesmaid in your late thirties, and marital bliss.

In the trailer, Schumer shares that even though someone is pregnant you don’t start to change who you are, unlike women who start to act really precious. “You don’t stop being you. You don’t stop working or drinking.”

She also addresses pregnancy complications in the trailer. “If you had a good pregnancy like if you are someone who enjoyed being pregnant, I just hope your car flips over. That’s what I wish for you.”

Amy Schumer pranks announcements on social media

Schumer suffered from pregnancy complications—hyperemesis—that prompted her to cancel the rest of her comedy tour earlier this week. She’s been vocal on social media about morning sickness and other challenges of being pregnant.

The I Feel Pretty star frequently uses social media to make major announcements, from her pregnancy to show cancellations. She disguised her Netflix special announcement as a video that would reveal the gender of her baby. “What I wanted to announce was the baby’s gender.” She continues, “We are so excited to say what the gender is. However the baby identities is fine, whatever the baby’s sexuality is… any way the baby identifies is cool with us. As long as it doesn’t identify as a DJ.”

She then goes on the clarify that she has a Netflix special coming out, calling it the best special she has ever done. We’ll see if it’s any better than The Leather Special.

The post Amy Schumer hates people with happy pregnancies in Netflix trailer appeared first on LaughSpin.

Calise Hawkins, Pat Brown kick off inaugural Black Women in Comedy Festival

Tue, 02/26/2019 - 12:12

The Black Women in Comedy Festival is coming to Brooklyn for the first time ever this weekend.

The new festival will feature 30 phenomenal comedians, solo artists, and improv groups performing nightly shows from February 28 to March 3, effectively bridging the gap between Black History Month and Women’s History Month.

You can catch any of the shows across four venues in the New York City neighborhood of Bed-Stuy: Brooklyn House of Comedy, Joloff Restuarant, The Corners BK, and Tilly’s.

Among the headliners are Calise Hawkins (Late Night with Jimmy Fallon), Pat Brown (Late Show with Stephen Colbert), and Meshelle “The Indie-Mom of Comedy” (Nickelodeon’s Search for the Funniest Mom in America 3). Jenelle Jackson, Ashima Franklin, Stephanie McCrae, Franqi French, and MeMe Simpson will also perform.

Black Women will shine at inaugural comedy festival

“Creating a platform for women of color, specifically Black Women, empowers the next generation of young people who aspire to become stand-up comedians,” said event founder Joanna M. Briley. The festival strives to showcase the “best, brightest and funniest black women, those who identify as women, and those from the LGBTQ community,” according to a press release.

Tickets for each individual show are $15, but an inclusive festival pass or daily passes can be purchased through Eventbrite . More information and a full schedule can be found on the event Facebook Page and official website.

The post Calise Hawkins, Pat Brown kick off inaugural Black Women in Comedy Festival appeared first on LaughSpin.

Album Review: Mike Bocchetti takes on the Rodney Dangerfield mantle in Thank You!

Tue, 02/26/2019 - 11:00

After hearing the comedy of Mike Bocchetti for the first time, you might wonder “What’s the catch?” After all, he is not your typical stand-up despite being a veteran of the industry (he started performing in 1992).

In fact, when the “Shakespeare of Staten Island” reached national recognition as a frequent guest of Opie and Anthony throughout the past decade, the hosts and their listeners often laughed at him and his unorthodox comedic style, not with him. They made him the punchline of their jokes and it made for an uneasy listen at times.

With the upcoming February 22 release of his new album Thank You!, an interesting turn of events has occurred. Instead of audiences looking at Bocchetti as the butt of the joke, the album affords an opportunity for the public to see him as a real funny man. As he develops his set, Bocchetti becomes a modern day arbiter of the Dangerfield-esque style of self-deprecating one-liners. His patrons repay his efforts with the chuckles, chortles, and belly-laughs befitting of a tried and true professional stand-up.

Mind you, Bocchetti’s technique hasn’t changed one iota since he began his career nearly three decades ago. He still uses a Tommy gun-like delivery of quick and almost expected one-liners that either hit their mark or miss the target altogether. Yet with Thank You!, the New York native is on point with his humor full of relatable situations, personal jabs, and simple yet effective punchlines that strike fast and hard each time.

An album like Thank You! can do either one of two things: catch you off-guard with its simplicity and bring a sense of amusement or grate you after 5 minutes of hearing the same formulaic and quickly agitating approach. While it could have easily gone down the latter road, Bocchetti’s penchant for re-affirmation (coming in the form of his “thanking” the audience after every one of their laughs) is actually quite charming and inspiring in its presentation.

Also, while Bocchetti’s humor may come off as crass and common to some, there is a sincerity and honesty found within his brand of locker room talk. He’s an everyman with everyday views and problems. If you listen carefully, he presents the best way to deal with and cope with these everyday conflicts: a touch of honest humor.

When you hit play on Thank You!, you’ll get what you would expect from a comic like Bocchetti. He will take you on a 40-minute trip through the mind of a blue-collar comedian trying to understand his crazy, befuddled and often defeatist lifestyle. As you take this journey with him, you ultimately relate with him and create a bond that helps one discover the overarching absurdity found in your shared experiences. As a result, you do the only thing you can do when faced with such nonsense—you laugh.

This time, however, the act of laughter comes without feelings of guilt or remorse for doing so. When the laughs do come, they don’t come at Bocchetti’s expense. They come because of his successful stand-up performance.

Mike Bocchetti’s Thank You! is available now on iTunes and Stand Up! Records.

The post Album Review: Mike Bocchetti takes on the Rodney Dangerfield mantle in Thank You! appeared first on LaughSpin.

Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph really want you to think they hosted the Oscars

Mon, 02/25/2019 - 16:51

Sunday night’s Oscars got some comedic help from Tina Fey, Maya Rudolph, and Amy Poehler. The Saturday Night Live alumni kicked off the hostless Academy Awards with an upbeat tone and quick pace on a night that featured lots of music and minimal bits.

After the original host, Kevin Hart, stepped down from the gig amid controversy over old tweets, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences confirmed that the show would not have a host this year—which sent many into a panic. The last year the Oscars ceremony went without a host was 1989.

Fey, Rudolph, and Poehler open Oscars strong

The trio opened the “one millionth” awards ceremony last night after a musical performance by Queen with Adam Lambert. Fey, Poehler, and Rudolph started their three-minute killer performance with an update on a few items, including the fact that the show would not have a host. They then struck a pose for the cameras, hoping that USA Today would cover their performance and readers would think that they did indeed host the prestigious event.

The Wine Country stars eased viewers into the evening with their thoughts on how they would host if they had been given that opportunity. They took turns cracking jokes about nominated films, similar to how previous Oscar hosts would roast nominees.

Poehler revealed to Bradley Cooper that she also peed herself at the Grammys, but for a different reason. Fey pondered when her microwave would start making movies, now that Netflix won its first Best Picture Oscar for Roma. Rudolph made obligatory jokes about Sam Elliott’s mustache and Wakanda.

They wrapped up their bits with Rudolph showing off her vocal chops. She belted out a Lady Gaga riff from A Star is Born’s award-winning song Shallow and Poehler joined in the song…until Fey (wisely) covered her mouth. Then, the group made their final hypothetical announcement to the attendees of the annual gala. Fey encouraged the audience to look under their seats, because, “you’re all getting one of those cheese sandwiches from the Fyre Festival!”

Comedians lend a hand at hostless Oscars

Finally, the group explained that while they were not there to host, they were there to present the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress, which went to Regina King for If Beale Street Could Talk.

Other comedians appeared throughout the show including John Mulaney, Awkwafina, Trevor Noah, and Melissa McCarthy—who made waves for both her red carpet and on-stage outfits. Keegan Michael-Key made the grandest entrance to introduce Bette Midler. Dana Carvey, Mike Myers, and Eighth Grade star snub Elsie Fisher also got some screentime.

Keegan-Michael Key’s #Oscars entrance was practically perfect in every way.

Amy Schumer tour dates canceled amid pregnancy complications

Mon, 02/25/2019 - 15:33

Amy Schumer canceled her remaining tour dates due to pregnancy complications over the weekend. While Schumer is uncomfortably ill, she assured her fans that, “the baby and I are healthy and everything looks good.”

On Saturday, Schumer posted on Instagram that she needed to cancel the remainder of her tour for both her and her baby’s health. Schumer began her current national tour in November in New York. She was scheduled to have four more performances, including a final show on March 3 in Austin, TX.

Amy Schumer’s hyperemesis sidelines tour

Schumer, who is in her third trimester, suffers from a condition called hyperemesis which causes her to be constantly nauseous. The condition is more severe than typical morning sickness. In her trademark style of oversharing, she explained in her Instagram post that, “I vomit mostly every time i ride in a car even for 5 minutes.” Doctors do not wish for the I Feel Pretty star to fly for the remainder of the pregnancy. Schumer, who announced her pregnancy in October on Instagram, is pregnant with her first child with chef Chris Fischer.

The Inside Amy Schumer creator was hospitalized for her the same condition in November. At that time, she posted a photograph of herself in a hospital bed and announced that she would have to reschedule her Texas tour dates. She said, “I have hyperemesis and it blows. Very lucky to be pregnant but this is some bullshit!” It also blows to be an Amy Schumer fan in Texas.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Texas I am so deeply sorry. I have been really looking forward to these shows. I have to reschedule. I am in the hospital. I’m fine. Baby’s fine but everyone who says the 2nd trimester is better is not telling the full story. I’ve been even more ill this trimester. I have hyperemesis and it blows. Very lucky to be pregnant but this is some bullshit! Sending so much love to the doctors and nurses taking great care of me and Tati! They are cool as hell! And Texas I am really really sorry and I’ll be out there as soon as I’m better.

A post shared by @ amyschumer on Nov 15, 2018 at 10:55am PST

Netflix ‘pregnant’ with mothers-to-be stand-up specials

Schumer’s upcoming one-hour special, Amy Schumer: Growing, premieres on Netflix on March 19. Like her Netflix debut, The Leather Special, Schumer will still discuss sex, but she will also delve into her marriage and pregnancy. Ali Wong discussed similar topics in her Netflix debut, Baby Cobra, recorded when she was seven-months pregnant. She taped her second special, Hard Knock Wife, also while she was seven-months pregnant. Similarly, Natasha Leggero recorded her Honeymoon Special with husband Moshe Kasher while very pregnant.

Refunds for Schumer’s remaining tour dates are available at point of purchase.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

7 things to know before making your late night stand-up debut

Mon, 02/25/2019 - 12:45

No ring is shinier in a stand-up comedy career than doing a tight five-minute set on late night TV. Whether showcasing your jokes on Conan, The Tonight Show, or any other late night talk show still not hosted by a woman, the chance to show the world what you’ve got is a special moment in a comedian’s life. So special, in fact, that many top comics hold the experience as one of the greatest events of their lives. Here are seven things you should know about your future late night stand-up debut!

You can bring guests backstage

You’re allowed to bring some of your nearest and dearest into the green room, which can make for some of the best memories. Erin Jackson, who taped her Conan set the day after her birthday, brought her best friend. Pictures can also be taken backstage, which led to one of Samantha Ruddy’s favorite moments with her guest. “They had a Polaroid camera and a wall with a bunch of celebrities’ pictures,” Ruddy shared with Laughspin. “So my girlfriend and I used it to take a selfie and put ours next to Henry Winkler.”

Your set is pre-taped

Knowing this can relieve some of the pressure. Kenny DeForest appeared on Late Night with Seth Meyers earlier this year. “I wish it had clicked beforehand that I wasn’t doing live TV. It wasn’t until I was waiting in the wings, about to go out, that it suddenly clicked,” DeForest told Laughspin. “Just do five minutes of stand-up for the people in this room, which is literally what you’ve been doing for the past decade.”

Your set will go through rounds of changes—even the day of

Even before you get to the studio, your set can go through changes. Caitlin Peluffo, who made her TV debut on The Late Show in October, observed, “I had no idea how precise the wording of each joke needed to be.” The process can take months and you can expect to receive line edits for many of your jokes—even if your tape had been approved beforehand. Sometimes Standards & Practices, the legal department that checks your set, gets absolutely ridiculous. Just ask Anthony Jeselnik.

There’s no dress code

While you might be inclined to go out and get a spiffy new suit for your first time on TV, there’s no mandate that says it must be done. “You can wear whatever you want,” Carmen Lagala noted about her time on The Late Show last year. “I wore a fancy outfit that I would never wear in real life, and when I showed up, the dudes were in jeans and sneakers.”

It lives on the internet forever

A late night show will post segments to their social media channels the next morning, so your set can be seen by anyone who may have missed it the night before. This can lead to ever-growing comment sections, which you may be tempted to read. “I believe people comment on YouTube just to hate, just like black people love the Apollo cause they are allowed to boo you,” recalled Nore Davis after doing Conan. “So, it was shocking and surprising to see the world liked my set. Except someone called me ‘Wanda Sykes’s son.’ That stung.”

It can bring people out of the woodwork

A big platform can bring on a big response. Sean Finnerty, who did stand-up on The Tonight Show in January, was overjoyed by the response from his home country of Ireland, where he’s been contacted by multiple local publications. Others reported a big influx of messages from old acquaintances in their email inboxes and DMs—for better or for worse. “I would get messages like, ‘I am SO proud of you!’” said Katie Hannigan, who appeared on Late Show. “I’m like, umm hello? You ghosted me three years ago.”

Yes, there are snacks and bonus perks

Each show has its own way of treating its funny guests. Some studios offer booze while others were dry. “I wish I knew that there wasn’t beer in the green room,” Tom Thakkar lamented about his time on Conan. “I would’ve brought it for after!” Peluffo boasted about her Late Show haul. “They gave me swag, baby! I’ve been drinking out of my coffee mug every chance I get!” Not too shabby for chasing your dreams.

The post 7 things to know before making your late night stand-up debut appeared first on LaughSpin.

Content © 2009 Emma Kat Richardson All rights reserved worldwide.
Site Development by Brainwrap Web Design.