Best infomercials of the decade: a blog post for the insomniac-ridden and the severely stoned.

I'm never one to be outdone. In-done, perhaps, but that usually depends on how many drinks I've had. Anywho, since every media outlet on the planet - and a couple on Uranus - have compiled a "best of" list of some sort, I decided it was time to quit shoving the following into the faces of several unwitting, pity-worthy souls, and string together a Best Of list of my own. Here, I present to you this day, the very best short-infomercials of the decade.

 

(Education Connection) This one was a particular favorite of my former roommate's, and indeed, the two of us made regular habitual practice of viewing and reviewing these little tidbits of minute-long, low-production pieces. And c'mon: even the most stoic of cynics has to admit that that jingle is off the proverbial chain.

 

 

(Sunsetter.) Was ever there a more nauseating ode to decadence than the appearance of the Sunsetter? I mean, I suppose us groundlings can only hope to fathom the unbelievable horror of an unusable deck and patio. Hurry up and get one today, kids: they're only $700!

 

(FinallyFast.com) The skillful overacting of all the FinallyFast.com players is enough to make me wish my computer were so slow I could yell at my mom about it.

 

(Bark Off.) At long last - a remote that can silence a creature's natural urges so that its Bush Tax Cut demographic owners don't have to be momentarily inconvenienced! When does the Glenn Beck model come out?

 

(Shake Weight.) This wouldn't be much of an infomercial countdown without the presence of the Shake Weight. Gentlemen, it's going to kick! your! butt! ...so you better have some tissues on hand.

 

(HotelPlanner.com) And finally, my personal favorite. It's like the Tim and Eric sketch that never was. The Gigli of this oft-ignored genre. The... oh hell, just watch it.

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